Before the Foundations of the Earth

By: Robbin Plaster

When asked the question: When were you saved?  I always answer,

Before the foundations of the earth.

Ephesians 1:3-4  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: According as he hath chosen us, in him, before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having said that, this is a testimony of the sovereignty of God and the grace of Jesus Christ toward me.

I was not brought up in a typical Christian home.  My mother married at age fifteen.  No, not because she was pregnant.  In the 50s all you needed was parental consent.  I was born when she was sixteen.  My brother was born two years later and she divorced within that year.  She married again and I became a military brat.  Which meant we moved a lot.  We had three more siblings, so I was the oldest of five.  My grandmother, who was my mother figure, lived with us most of the time.  She was faithful to pray for me and take me to whatever church was close by (Baptist, Lutheran, Episcopal, Catholic).  The first time I heard the Gospel I was five.  I attended a Vacation Bible School at a local Lutheran Church.  I can still see it as if it were yesterday.  The coloring pages that showed Christ on the Cross, and it was for me.  That contributed to my passion for VBS ministries.

When I was eight we lived in Fallbrook.  There was a beautiful wooded area where we could play all day.  I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and was molested by an older neighbor boy.  I never told anyone, but I knew I was damaged goods.

I was not consistent in attending church.  My knowledge of God was limited to movies.  The Ten Commandments, King of Kings, Ben Hur.  Every Easter my heart was broken for Christ.  I would cry for days and then go about my childish ways.  My real father’s side of the family was very religious, but their way of serving God was seriously different.  It made it impossible to know Christ.  Very legalistic and fall down scary.  If that was God, no thank you!

My mother divorced again.  It was difficult for a woman to raise five kids and keep an eye on them while trying to keep food in their mouths.  Feeling very lonely and damaged, I gave myself away to the first person that pretended to care.  Sadly at the ripe old age of 13.  This led to a very low self image.  Drug use crept its way into my life and as the song goes, “looking for love in all the wrong places.”  I still always tried to look good on the outside for my grandmother’s sake.  It was the 60s and 70s.  Even so, God would send people to remind me of His love.  Strange things like one sober person at a party with a Bible.  I would always wind up talking to them.  I attended a few youth groups in my teens but never for long.  A few times I told my mother I was going to the tent worship at Calvary Chapel but would go to the beach and party.  I’d listen to the sermon on the radio so I had something to say when I got home.  Keep an eye on your kids!

I should have died.  I should have paid.  I should have more consequences.  Sins committed against me and a chief committer of sins.  The things I saw while while walking so far from God were so dark and evil.  We can be deceived thinking it’s fun, how can it be bad.  But the day comes when you find that sin has you… you don’t have it.  I write this in an attempt to encourage anyone who might be lost.  Are you in a life that you feel there is no coming back from?  Don’t wait, let this be the day!  God is a good and mighty Savior.  There is nothing you have done, no path you have chose, no damage done that can’t be turned into something beautiful by the grace of Jesus Christ.  Sometimes it takes years for all the ghosts to go away but God is faithful.  Shame and guilt may keep you from your knees but if you come humbly, cry out for mercy, broken before God, He will in no way despise you.

Psalm 51:17  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise (KJV)

I was determined never to get married.  There was no one worth marrying and it wouldn’t last anyway.  But God!  I met my husband on a blind date November of 1974 and married in August of 1975.  I made it to twenty, not married in my teens like my mother.  He was a man of true Godly character, although he was not walking with the Lord at the time.  But he showed me he was faithful.  He love me with the love of God.  One that didn’t see my brokenness but my capacity for love and friendship and my nurturing spirit.  Life was different.

We had our struggles.  After two years we tried to have kids but they wouldn’t come.  Two more years of tears, prayers, and learning to commit to each other, and we were blessed.  After our second was born I was being more and more convicted that my life style was still far from God.  I started attending a Women’s Bible Study.  The Holy Spirit would not let me go!  In 1981 I was baptized along with both of my children.  At that time I was attending a church where  I realized that the pastor didn’t believe that the Bible was completely true.  I started my search for God.

We moved to Maryland and although I was convicted and thought won over I still had a besetting sin.  I had tried to pray my way out of my addiction to marijuana.  I had others praying.  I thought I was free after moving, but Satan fights very hard to keep us in bondage.  Although I refused to buy it, it would show up for about a year.  Finally I came to a point where I was broken before the Lord.  I cast myself on the floor.  I cried out to God for mercy.  I begged Him for strength to say NO when tempted.  That very day I was set free.  I began witnessing to all those around me of God’s great mercy.  I also started losing a lot of so-called friends.  It’s ok.  I was seeking the Lord and found Him.  I was listening to everything I could find that had to do with Him.  I learned so much through a Radio Bible Station that taught God’s divine and inerrant Word.  The Bible alone and in its entirety, old and new testament.  I was gathering information from many places looking for truth.

CHRIST ALONE, THE BIBLE ALONE!!

I’m grateful that it is God that changes the heart.  We found a home church.  I mention all of these different churches because God taught me a great deal about Himself through these experiences.  There is no perfect church, because there are people in them.  There is, however, one perfect Word and one true God!  The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  I have seen His Spirit in many of these places, but it is where He is being served in truth that I have grown.  Over the years I have been baptized in His Word and been kept safe from error.  I know sometimes it’s hard to take the absolutes of the Scripture, but it’s there for a reason.  I’ve seen churches where women have been pastors and men stopped trying.  I learned a lot in Bible studies.  Because of my hunger for the Word and my belief in what it said, I was given leadership of my women’s group, even as a baby Christian.  My Pastor called me a fundamentalist like it was a dirty word; I didn’t even know what the word meant.  I’m happy to say I still am one.

During that time we had three more children, all with their own challenges.  I always said after three it’s a career move.  Keeps you on your knees.  We had times of plenty and times of want.  My husband came to his knees while struggling with business, having six kids and a wife to feed.  Painful but growing.

We moved back to California. I got pregnant again. This time with another set of twins. I lost one at 11 weeks. In my seventh month, my son Zachary was born. He died seven days later. I came to understand the meaning of the peace that passes all understanding. God held us up and surrounded us with Himself through many believers.

I did find after several months that I started to rebel. I kept finding excuses to drink wine. I would make gourmet meals after being sober for over ten years. Fortunately, God was quick to remind me that this was His story, not mine, and He was God, not me. I had to trust. I wrote a poem of His sovereignty. If it were up to me, it wouldn’t be. God was again good and gracious to us. After a couple of years we were blessed with my treasure, Matthew. I tried very hard for my first child and my last, all the rest were gifts. There have been many other struggles and I’m sure there will be many more. When God is in it, it’s all good. The Lord has been faithful to not let me stray far from the path. He made something beautiful of my broken life. I am getting ready to celebrate my 55th year of life, and our 35th year of marriage. Yes, it can last. We are more in love today than ever before, because we value the gift. Five out of seven of our children are married and God has His hand on all of them. We have three grandchildren, so far. God took a life with no hope and allowed me to serve Him in so many ways. I have more friends, more children, more relationships filled with love than I could ever have imagined. Even if there was only Him, it would be heaven.

Where humble men and women seek Him with all their hearts and search His Word, you will find Him. I am grateful for God’s mercy in my life and I pray I will be able to serve Him all of my days.

The Perfect Groom

Like every other girl in the universe, I used to dream of prince charming. I had my wedding all planned out… my favorite color was (and still is) blue, so my wedding colors were going to be shades of blue. My man would be wearing a classy tux, we would vow our love to each other in front of family and friends, honeymoon in some tropical paradise, and live happily ever after. We were going to have two kids: a boy, and two years later a girl. I would stay at home with the kids until they were in school, but then I was going back to work… I was never one to want to stay at home all the time. Every week we would go to church, and then our kids would grow up and go to college, and my husband and I would travel the world together.

Twenty-five years later I haven’t even found prince charming! There have been boyfriends, of course, but nothing that screamed forever. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I used to cry myself to sleep at night wondering why I couldn’t find “forever love.” I was even engaged… but it didn’t work out. I accepted this man’s proposal because I longed to be married, but I didn’t really love him like a wife should love a husband, so we ended up breaking things off.

The past couple of years have been bittersweet for me. God has shown me in hard ways that life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan for it to (the bitter part), but that if we trust in Him and devote our lives to Him, His ways are better (the sweet part).

I am 34 years old and I am single. I don’t know if God has marriage in my future or not, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t matter to me! It’s funny, to me, being the single girl on the church campus. There have been so many times when someone has tried to set me up with a guy. I go, of course! I’m not going to slam the door in God’s face if marriage is what He has for me. But I’m not that girl sitting out there pining away, waiting for Mr. Right.

Here are the lessons I’ve learned about being single vs. being married. The questions I have asked myself are: What does a husband do? A husband can provide for us… but in my years of being single I have been blessed beyond belief! No, I don’t own my own home. But I have the privilege of knowing the love of families who have opened their home to me. Is it a permanent thing? No! But the more families I get to spend time with, the more I am blessed by seeing how God loves us through each other, and how He calls us to be the body of Christ.

Biblically, a husband is supposed to be a picture of our relationship with Christ. No, I don’t have that… but I get to go straight to the Source! I have a HUGE ministry! If I were married with kids there is no way that I would be able to do what I do at the church. The long days and nights wouldn’t happen, because I would need to take care of my family. I love being able to serve! That is a huge blessing to me! And guess what? Husbands are human. Some men can struggle with pride or their egos or jealousy of their wives’ time. My Groom just loves the fact that I’m serving Him!

Someone made the comment awhile ago that it was sad that I didn’t have a husband to spoil me on my birthday. Guess what? This was the best birthday ever! Somehow, word got out that it was my birthday. I received more cards and letters than I ever thought possible. My facebook was filled with happy birthday wishes. My WOW group held a surprise party for me. I got to go to a play (the first one I’ve ever been to). I got to eat pizza (My favorite food, for those of you who take notes). And I got little whispers of love for well over a week from those I love the most. I definitely didn’t need a husband to make this birthday special. In fact, holidays are often amazing for me because my friends make a point to reach out to me BECAUSE I’m not married.

I’m not saying that being single is better than being married. I have known some great marriages. My point is not that I get the better end of the deal by being single. My point is that I have learned to rest where God has me right here, right now. Many of us, actually, most of us, get married in life. And that can bring joy. But if God calls us to be single, who are we to say that there is less joy in that?

I have to tell you, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I am viewed as less than a complete person because I am single. You might as well grate your fingernails across a chalkboard if you are going to suggest marriage as the answer to my problems. And it happens… a lot!

Being single is not the life I signed up for. This is not what I imagined my life would look like at 34… it’s way better! And somewhere down the road, if God puts Mr. Right in my life, that will be great, too! But now, if that happens, I can rest knowing that Mr. Right will be my partner, not my savior… I already have a Savior… a Groom… and it’s sweet!

What He’s Called You To Do

Hi, my name is Karen Sherwood and I’ve been a Christian almost all my life. I grew up in a Christian home, and was taught the truths of the Bible, like:

Ephesians 4:17 “… that in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”

… and Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us…”

… and especially Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

But I still struggled in my marriage, year after year, especially in the area of respect. I would make certain strides every now and then. I would go to a retreat, be convicted of my sin, put verses about God calling me to walk in a manner worthy of Him, muster up some willpower, and read books on my biblical responsibility as a submissive wife. Prayer, at that time, was mainly a means of forgiveness, not a constant source of surrender or power.

After 12 years of marriage, I felt like I’d tried everything in my own strength. The desire was there to be pleasing to the Lord, but I would fail time and time again.

That’s when my dear friend, Jodi Biegel, offered to pray with me on a daily basis. Since last Fall, we have been praying most mornings, and what a blessing it has been! It has been a daily refocus and surrender to the Lord for strength, as well as a petition that He’d change my heart. I felt as though I was finally on the road to overcoming my biggest stumbling block to spiritual victory.

Then, three weeks later, I had a major blow up! It should have been the perfect family day. My husband had the day off and we decided to take the kids to Tom’s Farms. There I was, in the car, screaming at my husband in front of the kids, over some silly thing I can’t even remember to this day. It was like an out of body experience. I remember hearing myself say these harsh words, thinking, “Who is this woman?”

That’s when I knew I needed to get help. I realized that I was out of control, and there really wasn’t anything I could do on my own to get that control back. My husband had always teased/threatened that I should go to one of those PMS treatment clinics… and so I did! Two days later I was tested and put on Progesterone immediately. I also was found to have a low thyroid, so I was put on supplements for that.

I guess I’d always felt shame as a Christian that I couldn’t overcome something through prayer. I always resisted seeking help because I saw it as a mark of being a weak Christian. On the drive to the clinic, the Lord gave me this verse: Matthew 5:30a “If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off!” I realized then that there was no shame in receiving help, and I felt the Lord put this in my path, at just the right time, to give me a tool to be obedient to Him.

Since then, what a difference it’s made! My husband and I have not had one fight since I have been on my “Happy Juice”. My husband is so relieved that he doesn’t have to hide from me several days out of the month. He and I now have hope as I am able to “self-correct” and not see life through a “dark cloud”. God is healing our marriage and creating trust and love in areas that have been strained. I am learning to read my body, and have realized that I have somewhere to turn when I’m feeling like “everyone is being mean to me”. I still have my bad days, because I am still sinful. The Lord is teaching me to recognize what is sin, and what is hormones.

Jodi and I continue to bring things to the Lord in prayer. The Lord is working on my heart, and the hormone treatment is working on the things that are outside of my control. I feel like I finally have tools for victory to live the spiritual life that God has called me to live.

I would encourage anyone to get a prayer partner. I can’t stress to you enough how HUGE this has been in my life! This has been a way for me to daily renew my mind and set it on the things above. God honors prayer and an earnest heart seeking after Him.

God is calling all of us to be victorious in Him. Whatever’s causing you to stumble and not find victory in Christ, pursue that with all you heart. Bring it to Him in prayer daily, and He will make changes in you. If He’s prompting you toward an area of obedience, then He will enable you to do what He’s called you to do.

But God

Okay!  As promised, the testimonies of faith shared at the retreat:

I have been married for 43 years.  We have four children: three boys and one girl; and we have five grandchildren.  I would like to share my road journey with you.

We all want our journeys to be smooth and not bumpy.  But God is in the character building business, and He takes us off-roading.  Trials come our way to test our heart, and we either accept them and grow or we develop a hard heart and turn away from God.

In 2001 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  The doctor told me that I needed a mastectomy and chemotherapy, and that there was a 50% chance of it coming back within a year.  Wow!  I drove myself home and my mind was in a fog.  I sat on the sofa and felt as if I was in the middle of the black sea without a life preserver.  At that time I couldn’t remember one single Scripture verse.  I felt so alone.  But as I sat there I did remember the story about King Solomon asking for wisdom.  So I asked for peace.  I didn’t know what was ahead, but it sure didn’t sound good.  I turned to my devotion for the day… John 14:27.  It also happened to be the 27th, two days before my birthday.  The verse said, “Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  So, I said, “How are you going to do that, God?”  The next day, at work, a patient gave me a check that had the word “peace” written on it.  Ok God, open my eyes to see You everywhere and in everything.  I want to do this well… You know people are watching!

I can’t say that I didn’t doubt or was fearful, “But God.”  As I spent time in the Word, comfort and peace came.  Psalm 57:1 says, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!  For my soul trusts in You and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.”  The word “until” stuck in my mind.  I knew I would get through this, and I needed to trust God.  You see, both parents and grandparents died within three months of each other of a cancer.  Surgery and many months of chemo and radiation, and yes, I not only lost my breast buy all of my hair, eyelashes, and brows.  But you know?  I was still me!  I just looked different!  At the same time, God was using me to encourage others going through this valley.  I learned that God is in everything and there is nothing negative about Him!  I learned to trust Him as never before.  And you know what?  I wasn’t a statistic!

God was using this aspect of my life for yet another adventure.  Our children gave us an anniversary party three years ago.  There have been differences between all of them, but nothing has compared to the two older boys.  They haven’t spoken or seen each other since that time.  The family has been separated since that party.  I don’t like holidays or birthdays anymore, because they just remind me of the fracture in our family.  During this time our younger son has made some very poor choices with his life, and at this moment, not one of us knows how he is or where he is.  Those of us who are mothers know the pain and disappointment this causes.  If you are like me, you take this very personally.  First of all, I couldn’t believe this was happening.  And second, I felt somehow I was responsible… a terrible failure as a mom.  You question yourself and your motives.  Did I not give him enough time?  What happened?  Now, I have become very aware that Satan, the accuser of the brethren, wants me to become useless and unable to serve the Lord.  I needed to come to the realization that my boys have misguided views and a hard heart that only God can change.  I have asked God how He wants me to live, now that I feel so broken and empty.  As I read the Word, God told Joshua not to look to the right nor to the left, but to stay focused on Christ.  In 1 Peter 4:2b-3, it says, “For the will of God, you have spent enough time in the past.”

There are no shortcuts.  There is no absence of pain.  But I have found that as I surrender all to Jesus, He is faithful and will heal the brokenhearted.  My prayer is that He will continue to open doors for me to see my purpose.  After all, His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness!

Faith Corner

Hey ladies! One of the greatest blessings of the retreat was the transparency shown in the ten different testimonies given… and we want to share those with you. So, over the next few weeks we will be posting some of the different testimonies that were given. Our hopes are to show some glimpses of how God works in the lives of the women at Northpoint, to show the reality that life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan it, and to show that God’s grace and love is just as apparent in the broken and the hurting hearts as it is in the ones who seem to have it all together…